Funny Gambling Quotes Sayings

1. Funny Gambling Quotes Sayings Quotes
2. Sayings About Gambling

• A funny gambling quote from a much-loved comedian. Mitch Hedberg's deadpan style appealed to audiences across his short-lived career and poked fun at everyday observations. He became something of a cult icon before his premature death. Just like this quote, he used a lot of one-liners with snappy punchlines to get the laughs.
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You'll find references to gambling almost anywhere you look, from ancient proverbs and quips from literary heroes to words of wisdom from professional bettors. We've collected some of the most memorable gambling related quotes. Some will make you laugh while others might help you develop a successful betting strategy. 'Quit while you're. Funny pictures Quotes & Images. Looking for the best short Funny pictures Quotes, memes and Sayings about Life, Friends, Love & Family with Images. Inspirational funny quotes from movies for Facebook & Tumblr. Funny quotes Pic's pictures can be used on other websites.

Quotations about Gambling

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Money won is twice as sweet as money earned. ~From the movie The Color of Money
If you ain't just a little scared when you enter a casino, you are either very rich or you haven't studied the games enough. ~VP Pappy
For most men (till by losing rendered sager)
Will back their own opinions by a wager.
~George Gordon, Lord Byron, 'Beppo'
A pack of cards is the devil's prayer-book. ~German Proverb
Gaming is the son of avarice and the father of despair. ~French proverb
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something. ~Wilson Mizner
The subject of gambling is all encompassing. It combines man's natural play instinct with his desire to know about his fate and his future. ~Franz Rosenthal, Gambling in Islam, 1975
The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet. ~Hugh E. Keough
In a bet there is a fool and a thief. ~Proverb
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket. ~Kin Hubbard
Someone once asked me why women don't gamble as much as men do, and I gave the common-sensical reply that we don't have as much money. That was a true but incomplete answer. In fact, women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage. ~Gloria Steinem
The typical gambler might not really understand the probabilistic nuances of the wheel or the dice, but such things seem a bit more tractable than, say, trying to raise a child in this lunatic society of ours. ~Arthur S. Reber, The New Gambler's Bible
No wife can endure a gambling husband, unless he is a steady winner. ~Thomas Robert Dewar
The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice is so pleasurable, that I assume it must be evil. ~Heywood Broun
If you must play, decide upon three things at the start: the rules of the game, the stakes, and the quitting time. ~Chinese Proverb
There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one. ~Jack Yelton
A permanent and intense interest is acquirable in baccarat, or in any other game, but you have to buy it. You don't get it by standing around and looking on.. Constantly money and chips are flung upon the table, and the game seems to consist in the croupier's reaching for these things with a flexible sculling oar, and raking them home. It appeared to be a rational enough game for him, and if I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.. ~Mark Twain, 'Aix, the Paradise of the Rheumatics'
In most betting shops you will see three windows marked 'Bet Here,' but only one window with the legend 'Pay Out.' ~Jeffrey Bernard
A gambler is nothing but a man who makes his living out of hope. ~William Bolitho
I met with an accident on the way to the track; I arrived safely. ~Joe E. Lewis
In the case of an earthquake hitting Las Vegas, be sure to go straight to the Keno Lounge. Nothing ever gets hit there. ~Author Unknown
Man is a gaming animal. He must always be trying to get the better in something or other. ~Charles Lamb, Essays of Elia, 1823
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit. ~R.E. Shay
If you would read a mans Disposition, see him Game, you will then learn more of him in one hour, than in seven Years Conversation.. ~Richard Lingard, A Letter of Advice To A Young Gentleman Leaving the University, Concerning his Behaviour and Conversation in the World, 1670
The house doesn't beat the player. It just gives him the opportunity to beat himself. ~Nick Dandalos
Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money. ~Author Unknown
A race track is a place where windows clean people. ~Danny Thomas
A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety and nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stocks snuggles into your heart in the same way. ~Mark Twain (at Bayreuth)
Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on you face. ~VP Pappy
Luck never gives; it only lends. ~Swedish Proverb
By gaming we lose both our time and treasure - two things most precious to the life of man. ~Owen Felltham
At the gambling table, there are no fathers and sons. ~Chinese Proverb
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. ~Author Unknown
You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people. ~Will Rogers
No dog can go as fast as the money you bet on him. ~Bud Flanagan
Horse racing is animated roulette. ~Roger Kahn
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five. ~Henny Youngman
One of the healthiest ways to gamble is with a spade and a package of garden seeds. ~Dan Bennett
A racehorse is an animal that can take several thousand people for a ride at the same time. ~Author Unknown
The better the gambler, the worse the man. ~Publilius Syrus
A number of moralists condemn lotteries and refuse to see anything noble in the passion of the ordinary gambler. They judge gambling as some atheists judge religion, by its excesses. ~Charles Lamb, Essays of Elia, 1832
There is but one good throw upon the dice, which is, to throw them away. ~Author Unknown
Games of chance are traps to catch school boy novies and gaping country squires, who begin with a guinea and end with a mortgage. ~Author Unknown
Betting is the manure to which the enormous crop of horse-races and racehorse breeding in this and other countries is to a large extent due. ~Richard Blackmore, The Jockey Club and its Founders, 1891
Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people. ~W.C. Fields
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. ~Ambrose Bierce

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Last saved 2020 Aug 30 Sun 19:27 PDT

Posted by admin | Mar 9, 2018 | Funny | 0

In this post, you will find funny alcohol sayings.

Funny Gambling Quotes Sayings Quotes

Short Funny Alcohol Sayings

'When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.' —Henny Youngman

'I only drink on 2 occasions when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.' —Unknown

'Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.' —Kinky Friedman

'I cook with wine,Sometimes I even add it to the food.' —W.C Fields

'If you drink to forget, please pay in advance.' —Unknown

'Alcohol doesn't make you fat; it makes you lean… against tables, chairs and walls.' —Unknown

'Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.' —Homer Simpson

'Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.' —Unknown

'It's true, alcohol kills people. But how many are born because of it?' —Unknown

'Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.' —P. G. Wodehouse

'Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.' —Unknown

'Alcohol… because no great story starts with a salad.' —Unknown

'The doctors found some blood in my alchohol stream.' —Unknown

'Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.' —Unknown

'Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.' —Catherine Zandonella

'A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.' —Unknown

'All is fair in love and beer.' —Kurt Pardis

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'The only honest people in the world are small children and drunk people.' —Unknown

'Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.' —Unknown

Roulette terms french. Although roulette is a fairly simple game to play, there are dozens of different terms that are used in roulette that you may not be familiar with. These roulette terms appear again and again in writings about roulette, and you'll also hear many of them when you're at the roulette table.

'Alcohol is not the answer but it makes you forget the question!' —Unknown

'My second marriage had a lot to do with alcohol.' —Mercedes McCambridge

'Work is the curse of the drinking classes.' —Oscar Wilde

'Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.' —F. Scott Fitzgerald

'Beer is now cheaper than gas, do drink, don't drive!' —Unknown

'You look like I need another drink.' —Unknown

'Good people drink good beer.' —Hunter S. Thompson

'Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker.' —Unknown

'The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand!' —Danny Jansen

'There are more old drunkards than old physicians.' —Bernard Shaw

'I use to think drinking was bad, so I stop thinking.' —Unknown

'I work until beer o'clock.' —Stephen King

'Act single, see double, drink triple.' —Unknown

Funny Alcohol Sayings

'When I drink alcohol…everyone says I'm alcoholic but when I drink Fanta…no one says I'm fantastic.' —Unknown

'There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others.' —Raymond Chandler

'The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.' —William Butler Yeats

'If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. It's a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul.' —Luis Bunuel

'99% of all problems can be solved by money – and for the other 1% there's alcohol.' —Quentin R. Bufogle

'Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.' —Kaiser Wilhelm

'In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.' —Benjamin Franklin

Page Information:
www.quotegarden.com/gambling.html
Last saved 2020 Aug 30 Sun 19:27 PDT

Posted by admin | Mar 9, 2018 | Funny | 0

In this post, you will find funny alcohol sayings.

Funny Gambling Quotes Sayings Quotes

Short Funny Alcohol Sayings

'When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.' —Henny Youngman

'I only drink on 2 occasions when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.' —Unknown

'Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.' —Kinky Friedman

'I cook with wine,Sometimes I even add it to the food.' —W.C Fields

'If you drink to forget, please pay in advance.' —Unknown

'Alcohol doesn't make you fat; it makes you lean… against tables, chairs and walls.' —Unknown

'Alcohol is a way of life, alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.' —Homer Simpson

'Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.' —Unknown

'It's true, alcohol kills people. But how many are born because of it?' —Unknown

'Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin.' —P. G. Wodehouse

'Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it.' —Unknown

'Alcohol… because no great story starts with a salad.' —Unknown

'The doctors found some blood in my alchohol stream.' —Unknown

'Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.' —Unknown

'Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.' —Catherine Zandonella

'A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.' —Unknown

'All is fair in love and beer.' —Kurt Pardis

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'The only honest people in the world are small children and drunk people.' —Unknown

'Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.' —Unknown

Roulette terms french. Although roulette is a fairly simple game to play, there are dozens of different terms that are used in roulette that you may not be familiar with. These roulette terms appear again and again in writings about roulette, and you'll also hear many of them when you're at the roulette table.

'Alcohol is not the answer but it makes you forget the question!' —Unknown

'My second marriage had a lot to do with alcohol.' —Mercedes McCambridge

'Work is the curse of the drinking classes.' —Oscar Wilde

'Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.' —F. Scott Fitzgerald

'Beer is now cheaper than gas, do drink, don't drive!' —Unknown

'You look like I need another drink.' —Unknown

'Good people drink good beer.' —Hunter S. Thompson

'Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker.' —Unknown

'The best beer in the world, is the open bottle in your hand!' —Danny Jansen

'There are more old drunkards than old physicians.' —Bernard Shaw

'I use to think drinking was bad, so I stop thinking.' —Unknown

'I work until beer o'clock.' —Stephen King

'Act single, see double, drink triple.' —Unknown

Funny Alcohol Sayings

'When I drink alcohol…everyone says I'm alcoholic but when I drink Fanta…no one says I'm fantastic.' —Unknown

'There is no bad whiskey. There are only some whiskeys that aren't as good as others.' —Raymond Chandler

'The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.' —William Butler Yeats

'If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. It's a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul.' —Luis Bunuel

'99% of all problems can be solved by money – and for the other 1% there's alcohol.' —Quentin R. Bufogle

'Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.' —Kaiser Wilhelm

'In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.' —Benjamin Franklin

'I have made an important discovery… that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.' —Oscar Wilde

'Alcohol is like love: the first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you just take the girl's clothes off.' —Raymond Chandler

Sayings About Gambling

'The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.' —Humphrey Bogart

'I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.' —Rodney Dangerfield

'Good friends make the world go round, but good beer makes the room go round.' —Unknown

'I try to convince myself that it's the alcohol talking. But alcohol can't talk. It just sits there. It can't even get itself out of the bottle.' —David Levithan

'I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half i wasted.' —Unknown

'Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.' —Frank Sinatra

Top Ten Funny Alcohol Sayings

You will find here top ten funny alcohol sayings selected by our team.

1. 'Alcohol aint the answer but it makes you forget the question!
2. 'Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.' —Frank Sinatra
3. 'Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.' —Kinky Friedman
4. 'When I drink alcohol…everyone says I'm alcoholic but when I drink Fanta…no one says I'm fantastic.' —Unknown
5. 'In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength but in whiskey is the water of life.' —Unknown
6. 'If alcohol is queen, then tobacco is her consort. It's a fond companion for all occasions, a loyal friend through fair weather and foul.' —Luis Bunuel
7. 'I try to convince myself that it's the alcohol talking. But alcohol can't talk. It just sits there. It can't even get itself out of the bottle.' —David Levithan
8. 'It's true, alcohol kills people. But how many are born because of it?' —Unknown
9. 'A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts.' —Unknown
10. 'Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.' —Unknown